Haunts, pre BB May 1983 This was a message to BB, written in May of 1983. We'd been contemplating going to Scottsdale so they could meet my family. It's a decision never made, but constantly discussed. You asked for it girls. Here it is. Read it, think about it, decide to do it or not to do it.
We'll get to my parents house on a Friday evening, tired so we'll hang out there. We will be a shock and they'll try to be cool. My mother will keep offering food until you accept something. My father will keep making offensive comments. Some he won't know are offensive, the rest he'll think are funny. His intentions are fine, but he loves Archie Bunker and gay is a hot topic.
My mother will be overcome with the need to tell somebody. She'll be forced to call at least one of my brothers or my sister and push them to come over. They won't, not then at least.
We'll have the guest room with a queen bed and a really soft comforter on it. My parents will deal fine with us sleeping together, quietly.
Saturday morning my mother will insist on fixing bacon, eggs and fried potatoes. Friday night, if she commented about not having enough of something, it will be our queue to go to Basha's grocery store. It's close. It smells bad, especially for a grocery store. We can do the dishes. Oh boy! I've been doing the dishes a long time. It's a tradition begun with my sister in the 60's.
After breakfast we can sit on the patio listening to dad say more inappropriate things that relate to us. I promise, he means nothing by it. I'm sorry in advance. You can play with Gidget, a small, friendly and sometimes very independent poodle. I grew up with her, but she prefers my oldest brother over anyone else.
My dad will want to go fishing. That's our time to take off. After a tour of my neighborhood, I've got a surprise in mind, I won't tell you, we'll just do it. Yes, double entendre...
Finally, what you keep saying you want to do. I'll take you cruising at Fashion Square followed by Los Arcos Mall. We'll hit Minder Binders for certain, then have lunch near ASU at either Mags Ham Bun, May's, The Dog House or The Chuck Box. Mags is good and it's cheap eats, but a very basic place on the wrong side of Rural Rd. Too far for many students to walk for lunch. May's has great food, great service and an upscale coffee shop environment, but it's not a hang out. The Dog House is a college hangout like The Chuck Box. Both are good with a lot of students on weekends. The Dog House is my favorite, best buns this side of... you! With a giant bucket of cheese nachos, you can smear molten cheese on your dog. We could also choose a walk down Mill Avenue looking for a place. It's only safe in the light of day. A rough environment like the Pike, if you replace carnival atmosphere with biker bars and tattoo parlors.
After lunch we can rent roller skates and cruise ASU till evening. Dinner at The Chuck Box will get you going. It's the pick-up place, always full of cuteness dancing with anyone. The Chuck Box is second only to Minder Binders for a pick-up. Turn in the roller skates and we'll play a while at Lonnegan's. It's a bar, but nobody takes the bar seriously. Saturday nights early, it can be packed full and constant action. Late we can make love on the putting green at Pima Inn Golf Resort. It's only a tiny little three strand barb wire fence in the desert.
Sunday morning mom will have to make bacon and eggs and potatoes. We'll talk on the patio. Dad will offend, sorry again. By ten o'clock we'll need to hit the road for home. It's about eight hours. Bren, would be nice if you drive part of it.
OK, that's as much description as I can write and it's a busy weekend. You decide if you're ready to do it. Know this, my family will be freaky weird about us. They'll be unintentionally offensive, but still hard to take. Nobody will mean anything by it. Whenever you meet them it will be the same and for many years after. So decide quick or we'll have to wait until fall. It's going to be too hot soon.
