Gary Rinsem


A Million Monkeys
1996

Written 1996
Appended 2018

Who dreamed this up, the bit about a million monkeys on a million typewriters for a million years? A million monkeys would fling a million poops, not type the complete works of William Shakespeare!

I once read that certain levels of encryption were illegal in the US. I can't find anything about it now. Good thing because I just uploaded my complete zip to three servers, encrypted into nothing but white noise. My photos can't be found, complete journal can't be read and it can't be connected to me.

The trouble with encryption is the need to spread decryption. Encryption is useless if nobody can decrypt, unless it's only for yourself.

I find nothing about it on the internet, but it seems so easy to do encryption that can't be broken, when you're the only one who needs to get the data out of the file.

1) Giant key
2) Three algorithms
3) One pass with each algorithm
4) Each pass a different hash
5) Each pass attacks data differently
6) Each pass applies key differently

Result is pure white noise, no recurring patterns. Millions of monkeys in millions of years would create the input data only by creating every possibility.

It seems so simple that I find it hard to be proud of myself, but no doubt it's unbreakable.


URL: xxxxxxxx
FTP: xxxxxxxx
LOG: xxxxxxxx
PASS: xxxxxxx

URL: xxxxxxxx
FTP: xxxxxxxx
LOG: xxxxxxxx
PASS: xxxxxxx

URL: xxxxxxxx
FTP: xxxxxxxx
LOG: xxxxxxxx
PASS: xxxxxxx

One still hasn't closed their front door. They must have backed up and restored my file many times in 22 years, at least when upgrading servers. It took weeks to get around to it, but I found and compiled the encryption code from back then. I still remember the key, it's a text file of the script of a Star Trek movie. Of course I still have that. I'd have it even if it wasn't the key to something precious.

Happy I hid it, the contents were a lot of fun to look at. IT people are far less foolish now, their industry has been bitten by bad players many times in embarrassing public scandals. So... it took time to find back doors now, but all done. My stuff will be getting dusty on their drives long after I'm gone.