Gary Rinsem

The Most Important Corner

This is about the corner of your mind and life where love and sex reside. I've written on this subject many times, this is one more.

I don't believe we're born as loving or sexual beings, only with the potential to one day become... one, the other, both or neither. Don't give up hope, that potential is with us for life.

The neithers are easy to spot as they bully their way around the world. Pity them, they are many. They are clueless and selfish, incapable of understanding that everyone is not like them. Love is nothing more than an abstract word to neithers. Sex is a tool of abuse, control and manipulation. Neithers are the cause of the "Me Too Movement."

I was still young when I realized the majority of people never develop into loving beings, they never find true love because they don't know how to love. They spend their lives searching for what's all around them, and never find it.

Those who learn love, but don't openly accept sex, are easy to recognize as they demand that sex be lied about to children and hidden from adults in the shadows of society. They are as abusive as neithers, but to all of society instead of one on one.

Pity all three and strive to become both instead. It's pure societal fantasy to claim sex and love are inseparable. Better together from my experience, but both have great value on their own. One tragedy in life is being too uptight to have fun, in both sex and in love.

Sex came first for me, three years before love. Not intending to brag, but I got around in those three early years. It wasn't until much later that I came to appreciate how atypical my coming of age had been. I lost my virginity very young and in a spectacular fashion. Immediately after I became a pure slut. That's not a bad thing, not at all. I have countless terrific memories from that time.

Next, the most wonderful thing in my life happened one night with no warning. I fell deeply in love. Five minutes after realizing this was love, I discovered the difference between having sex and making love. To continue my premise, this is when I became a "both." I never looked back, life without knowing love is no life at all. I view the years prior as being lived in darkness

True love is eternal. You can't get rid of it if you wanted to. I've had several lesser loves that faded over the years, but my four true loves give me as much joy today as they ever did. All are gone and I miss them constantly while living for the joy of the love they left behind. Perhaps because I have no choice.